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Simply translated as ‘are you having a laugh?’ If someone has done something particularly stupid, they will be asked this question in a particularly insulting tone. Blert
And speaking of disappointments, let’s not forget the treasure trove of Liverpool FC jokes that never fail to keep us entertained when the match itself doesn’t. Ah, you’ve got to love the classics. Why did the Liverpool fan bring a ladder to the bar? To finally get some points! These zingers are the bread and butter—or should we say, the “bitter and scouser”—of football banter. They add that extra zing, like hot sauce on a bland taco. The jokes are like the unofficial mascot of the club, always lurking around, ready to pounce the moment there’s a fumble, a missed goal, or yet another defensive mishap. So here’s to Liverpool FC jokes, the gift that keeps on giving, much like their defense to the opposing team! Funny Liverpool FC Jokes Phil Schofield joked: “I said to my girlfriend, "I saw a woman with her breasts out on the bus feeding her son." Made famous by Brookside, this was Jimmy Corkhill’s put-down of choice. The word has two possible origins - one theory is that it’s an abbreviation of the 1950s Unemployment Dividend and was used to describe someone who didn’t have a job. Roberto Martínez’s men were annihilated at Anfield following Ramiro Funes Mori’s red card on fifty minutes – their opponents managed to register thirty-seven shots in total, compared with Everton’s three. The most one-sided derby I’ve ever seen. If Everton had scored all their shots, they’d have still lost! #LFC #EFC
A dad who was known for his smile and positive energy died suddenly hours after coming home from the Liverpool derby. The third passenger was Mikel Arteta: I am the Manager of Arsenal FC and I am one of the most creative, most intelligent, and well-remembered football players. He takes one and jumps. The Gunners fan was thinking: 'That Spurs fan must have kissed Megan Fox who went to slap him, missed him and slapped me instead.' Kevin Tyrrell commented: “Did you hear about the carrot that died apparently there was a big turnip at his funeral” They served search warrants on his home and office, confiscated his computer, laptop, and mobile phone, and froze his bank account.
One day while driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" Yeah, but last week we were caught and had to sit down and watch the rest of the game,” replied one of the fans.
Defence - Alexander-Arnold, Konate, Van Dijk, Tsimikas
Hats off to Jürgen Klopp. He’s become a proper scouser, someone the fans can really relate to and hail as one of their own. His friends think that that’s a little bit weird because he has been the biggest LFC fan his whole life. That’s the Memory Man.” said the bartender. “He knows everything, remembers everything. He can remember every face he’s ever seen. He can remember any fact he hears or reads. Go and try him out.” So the Liverpudlian goes over, and thinking he won’t know about English football, asks “Who won the 1965 FA Cup Final?”. Tough, tough day for United. Thank God, I’ve never been part of a team that’s been beaten by that much playing for Manchester United. Former United defender Neville said: “The second half has been an absolute disgrace, a shambles, epitomised by no-one more than the captain, Bruno Fernandes, who I think has been embarrassing at times in this game.
Of course there are worse things that could happen in life than Liverpool winning the league. I just can't think of any right now… He went home but later that night an ambulance had to be called and he was taken to Aintree University Hospital. He tragically died later that night. A post-mortem is yet to take place. Paul Kavanagh shared his joke: “Remember when plastic surgery was taboo ?,Now if you mention Botox no one raises an eyebrow. A well used put-down and a variation on ‘get lost’. More generally used when you want someone to stop doing something, rather than when you want them to actually go away. Divvy Not to be confused with bifters (ciggies) this is a variation on ‘div’. It is basically used to describe someone who’s acting a clown. BeautA: They both spend a lot of time in the cellar, cost too much and are only enjoyed on select occasions. The Spurs fan put his cap over one breast, the Watford fan put his cap over the other, and the Gooner put his cap "down below". All of the sudden Tom Thumb says, "You know, how do I know I'm the world's smallest man? Maybe I'm NOT the world's smallest man". And he got very depressed.
I see the players come here today, one or two players come out in the second half having a laugh and a joke - they’re one nil down at Anfield having a laugh and joke with some of the Anfield staff, goalkeeping coach - I don’t like to see all that rubbish.
Three points off fourth
The dealer replies, "It's voice activated. You tell it want kind of music you want to listen to, and it automatically changes." Mary, why didn’t you raise your hand?” the teacher asks, surprised. “Because I’m not a Liverpool fan,” she replies. “Well, if you are not a Liverpool fan, then who are you a fan of?” Mary replied, “I am an Everton fan, and I am proud of it.” The teacher couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Mary, why, pray tell, are you an Everton fan?” “Because my mum is an Everton fan, and my dad is an Everton fan, so I’m an Everton fan too!” “Well, that is no reason for you to be an Everton fan,” said the teacher, clearly annoyed. “You don’t have to be just like your parents all of the time… What if your mother was a prostitute and your father was a drug addict?” “Then,” Mary smiled, “I’d be a Liverpool fan. He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said, “Sorry Father, I almost hit that Liverpool fan.” “That’s ok,” replied the priest. “I got him with the door.” Receive newsletters with the latest news, sport and what's on updates from the Liverpool ECHO by signing up here
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