Fingers Crossed: How Music Saved Me from Success: Rough Trade Book of the Year

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It's a gripping and delightful read even as, without an ounce of self-pity the bright energy of Miki's star is always tailed by darkness - the neglect and worse of an abusive childhood and the misogyny and exploitation that hangs like a pall over the Britpop years. Berenyi’s time in Lush is also put under the microscope, detailing the complexities of band life and how she coped with the increase in attention that came with it. But you don’t need to know a thing about Lush to love Fingers Crossed — Berenyi makes her story so relatable, so poignant, so emotionally intense, it’s an irresistible rush of a book. While she is willing to change the names of some of its participants to protect them from having their faults exposed, this is a luxury she denies herself. The whole time I was in the band, I was scribbling away, I think I’ve got a lot of my private angst into that.

J. ‘Moose’ McKillop , Justin Welch and Michael Conroy (the latter two of whom both played with Lush during the reunion) and have continued making new music since then.After the band lands on the solid soil of the 4AD label in 1989, the four find themselves confronted by the challenging forces of the music business. Berenyi’s telling of their complex and competitive relationship has a scorched earth feel to it, leaving me thinking that any chance of them working together again is negligible. The 90s are often seen as synonymous with champagne supernovas in country houses, oversimplifications ingrained in the lore of Britpop. Because Miki was, for a long time, removed from the industry, she feels quite happy to portray it warts-and-all and the results are so much more satisfying than some glittered-up puff-piece about how great it is to be a pop star.

The thought of writing my memoir seemed like a ridiculous idea when Pete Selby from Nine Eight Books approached me. Rough Trade's Book of the Year 2022A Mojo Book of the Year 2022Formed in 1988, Lush were part of the London gig scene during one of the most vibrant and creative periods in UK music. Berenyi, especially, found herself the frequent star of music periodical gossip columns, thanks to frequently attending gigs in London and not holding back her opinions on anything (her eye-catching red hair also made her easy to spot in such venues). But Lush’s poppiest song, 1996’s Ladykillers – a scathing put-down of narcissistic lotharios – remains a banger.Lush were somewhat unusual in the late 1980s and early 1990s as a British guitar band whose lead creative forces were women, leading to some positive attention but also highly negative and, at times, irrational criticism, including bizarre claims their songs were written by their label. Berenyi herself becomes the subject of an inordinate amount of flak and it is difficult to conclude that this is not the result of her being a) a girl, b) visually distinctive and c) successful. Anderson is happiest in the studio with a compliant producer, finding the best ways of assembling the songs, and finds the tours (especially of the USA) draining, whilst Berenyi much prefers getting out and playing live to crowds. When the inevitable comes to be described, it’s not over-dramatised, but presented with the kind of numb disbelief that is the common factor of all bereavements.

From the bohemian lifestyle of her father’s social circle to the privileged glamour of her mother’s acting career, Miki’s young life was a blur of travel, celebrities and private schooling. Information was sparse, but it was clear that she had not had a good time in the closing days of Lush, eventually leaving the music business altogether and getting a ‘proper job’. It effectively ends after Lush formally dissolves in early 1998 and we only get few a few paragraphs describing Berenyi's subsequent life: her move into being a sub-editor in the publishing industry, an ill-fated Lush reunion in 2015-16, the births of her two children and her more recent forming of the excellent band Piroshka (who have produced two very good albums to date). After a difficult time in my life in the early 1990s, my musical tastes blossomed exponentially and Lush was one of the bands that really appealed to me. It is not included in promotions available to our main range products, as stated in our terms of service.A Rough Trade Book of the YearA Mojo Book of the YearA Times Book of the YearAn Irish Times Book of the YearA Financial Times Book of the YearA Stylist Book of the Year The extraordinary and searingly honest personal story of musician Miki Berenyi, revealing the highs and lows of navigating the madness of the '90s music industry. This all gave Berenyi an unusual childhood that could be described as bohemian, but ‘troubled’ might be a more accurate euphemism, especially when her grandmother came into the picture, bringing abuse and cruelty into the equation. It doesn’t matter if you’ve followed lush since they began or have never heard a note – Berenyi’s book is unputdownable from the first page to the last. Yet at the heart of the book are Miki's own battles: the conflict between her mouthy public persona and her thin-skinned private identity; the trials of being a woman in an infuriatingly male world; the struggle to find a middle ground between 'safe' indie obscurity and 'sell-out' international success.